BDMOTP’s Denee Davis guides all the men out there on how to get that special someone in your life the right gift. With the holidays coming sooner than you think, read this before you shop!

Many moons ago, a female friend of mine was dating a guy.  Around the time of her approaching birthday, the guy, knowing of her extensive collection of designer handbags,  questioned whether to buy her a handbag or shoe. Learning of his thoughts, she told him no–that she  would rather dinner at a popular restaurant.  He didn’t listen and picked out a handbag with shoes. I will repeat he was told not to buy shoes or a handbag, she told him she would love to be taken to dinner. Needless to say, they did not make it as a couple. And while the birthday day incident wasn’t the only reason, it was a strike against the guy. (Mistake number one for all you men out there…NOT LISTENING! She made it easy for her man by telling her exactly what she wanted).

Unfortunately, this is a common story out there. So men, listen up and follow the tips below for the find the perfect gift.

Ask, listen and be thoughtful when choosing gifts.

Ask, listen and be thoughtful when choosing gifts.

Tip 1: Ask

Ask people what they want, and this isn’t just limited to women.  It seems simple but so many people miss this.

Tip 2: Listen

If I want oranges, I want oranges, not apples or pears. If someone, especially a woman, makes it easier for you buy telling you what she wants, LISTEN and BUY IT.

Tip 3: Play detective.

There are the people that when you ask their going to say, “Your enough,” or “ Nothing,” and that’s when things get difficult. Some people are hard to shop for, however, sometimes there are clues.  Some people wear the same brands or frequent the same shopping sites.  I know people who buy a cashmere sweater every year–maybe a sweater would be the right gift. Ask the people around them what you think they would want. Pay attention to the things that they like or often purchase for themselves. If your girl loves getting massages and facials, get her a gift certificate. If you know your mother is dying for a weekend away, plan one for her.

Tip 4: Practical

Sometimes the practical choice is the best choice. If you live is NYC during winter, warm winter accessories are always necessary. If you know she wants shoes, make sure to check her current pairs to get the right size. Think logically and that will often lead to great gift giving ideas.

Tip 5: It’s the Thought

It is the thought that counts, but get a gift receipt so the thought can count for something they want. If you are asking, listening, and playing detective though–you should be able to come out on top as the perfect gift giver, no returns needed.

A personal note on being thoughtful:

One of the best gifts I ever received was a car battery.  I was living in Los Angeles, and my mother came out for the holidays.  I was really excited to have my mother visiting, but on the way from the airport my car died. I soon thereafter received a car battery as a gift, and although it wasn’t a particularly romantic gift, it was exactly what I needed at wanted at that moment (therefore a practical AND thoughtful gift) and allowed me to be able to drive my mom around the city to show her the highlights–priceless, in my opinion.

Post and photo by Denee Davis.

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